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1st thief : Oh The police is here. Quick Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry this is no time for superstitions.
Lady : Is this my train?
station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask f I can take this train to KualaLumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots?
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

"For twenty years my husband and I were very happy"
"What happened then?"
"We met."

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order, order".
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field.
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Friend 1 : Where did you born?
Friend 2 : India.
Friend 1 : India? Which part?
Friend 2 : No, the whole body.
Rohit Kumar Khode
B-111, Fifth Hall of Residence
Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur